MY COMING OUT STORY: MY PARENTS

            I have saved the best for last in this series of anecdotes.  My parents have always been the best role models in my life.  They are reason for all of success.  My parents have showed great work ethic in their jobs and at home.  Both of them had started out with an associate degree and have moved up the ranks in their fields.  Also, my parents have never ceased to support my sister and I in our academic work and our extracurricular activities whether it was hours at the dinner table helping us learn math or driving us to organization meetings.  There is no doubt in my mind that my parents have sacrificed everything for me and my sister to have the best life possible.  From a young age, my parents have always told me and my sister that we can achieve any dream if we work hard to reach them.  This has proven to have left a positive impact on my life.  At only 18 years old I am an EMT, an Eagle Scout, a Red Cross Volunteer, former National Honor Society President, a recipient of the Daughters of the American Revolution Good Citizen Award and I am currently pursuing an education to become a physician assistant.  Without my parents standing at my side every step of the way I wouldn’t be the driven individual that I am today.

             My parents have always been big supporters of letting my sister and I express individual thought.  We were taught that we should form our own opinions and to be passionate about things that we care about.  This is one of the main reasons that I felt some confidence in telling my parents that I was gay.  I knew deep down in my heart that they would love me no matter what my sexual preference may be.  However, it took me an extremely long time to tell them that I was gay.  I had so many “what ifs” running through my head and I was scared that telling them about my sexuality would ruining their future plans for me.  Coming out to my parents remains  the proudest moment in my life.  That’s right I am more proud to have told my parents that I am gay than receiving my Eagle Scout medal, graduating with a 3.89 GPA in high school, being President of the National Honor Society, volunteering with the American Red Cross, passing my National EMT test and winning the Daughters of the American Revolution Good Citizen Award.  I value the fact that I could be honest with myself and others even when it is not the social norm and no award can has the ability display this.

            So you’re probably wondering, how did you come out? Well it happened over my winter break this year.  My mom, sister and I were all in the living room watching the Ellen DeGeneres Show while we were recovering from colds.  The man who portrays Mitch from Modern Family, an openly gay man on both the show and in real life, was being interviewed by Ellen.  My sister, who likes to cause some trouble, said “Hmmm if you shave his face and dye his hair blonder, he would remind me a lot of Eric.”  I remember sending my sister the nastiest glare when my mother wasn’t looking and then my mom said “No, he’s gay.  You aren’t gay are you Eric?”  I remember my heart sank and I was silent for a good 5 seconds.  I said to myself, you have to do this… just muster the 10 seconds of strength and tell her!  So I said “well that is a very interesting question, but yes I am.”  She stared at me and said “you’re gay?” Followed by “oh my God, you’re gay.”  “Eric you’re gay!”  I responded “yes I am.”  My mother told me to tell all of you reading this the “truth” about her initial thought.  The next thing that came across her mind was “Eric, you are never going to marry Marissa.”  However, I assured her that someday I plan to be married and still have children.  I still plan to live the American dream and go to college, buy a house, raise children and do it all with person of my dreams even if it is a person of the same sex.  My mom also asked, “well, if you’ve never had a relationship with a guy before, than how do you know that you’re gay.”  I responded with a question for my mom, “how did you know you were straight before you dated?” and she said “well I think guys are hot.”  I said, “me too!” and we shared a good laugh. 

            We knew that my father was due back home from work any moment and my mother told me that she couldn’t keep this from him.  So right when he walked through the front door, we called him into the living room because we had something to tell him.  He walked in there and we told him to sit down. He didn’t want to, but I insisted and before his body even touched the cushion of the couch I blurted out “I’m gay!” and he looked at me and said, “what?”  and then I said “I like guys not girls.”  He was quiet and then he went to go make dinner.  I wasn’t really sure what to think about that whole situation.  I couldn’t read my dad’s mind to figure out why he was so quiet, whether it was because he didn’t think of this as a problem, completely shocked or upset.  It wasn’t until later that night that my dad and I talked he told me that he loved me and was proud of me and that I was the best son that a father could have no matter what.

            My parents are now assimilating to the fact that I am gay.  They have both accepted me and are proud of me.  In fact both of them also read my blog and the have a sincere concern what I have to say.  There isn’t a better feeling that a child can have than knowing that their parents really do have unconditional love for them; that nothing in this world can take away the pride, love and connection between a parent and child.  Coming out for me has only just started, but I now know that the people that care about me the most have accepted me.  If there is anything that I hoped you would get out of these stories, it is that coming out happens in so many different ways and it is a journey that you will continue to take for the rest of your life.  But if you ever find yourself having a hard time coming out just remember that people out there love you, minds will change and you should be proud of who you are and where you are going.

“I don't want to live and have any shame whatsoever. I should be proud of who I am, and I don't care if people approve or not. It is who I am.” ~Ellen DeGeneres