THE EQUALITY OF LOVE

            Love is an amazing feeling that acts almost like a dream.  No one feels like they are in reality and perfection seems like something that is not just read about in fantasy novels.  Every living animal on this earth displays their love for one another.  In fact, without nurturing and showing love to newborn animals, they would never have the ability to survive.  Love is the most basic principle that has been passed down since the first creatures inhabited this world.  However, is all love equal?  Do humans believe that some love is more natural than others?  Based on social observations in the United States, these questions would be easy to ask.

            Everyone experiences love, but love is not always respected the same way by every person.  Ask any child in kindergarten what being married means and most definitely they will answer that it is, “When a man and a woman love each other very much.”  I constantly ask myself why it can’t be a man and a man or a woman and a woman.  In my own definition, marriage is a sacred vow of love and commitment between two people.  Most people would agree with that statement because yes, everyone believes that marriage is sacred, a commitment, and involves love.  So then, why must people add the exclusiveness of a man and a woman?

            In today’s society we are more accepting than we have ever been to people that are gay and lesbian, but these changes are still not good enough.  Children are still being bullied for being “different.”  But I will tell you a secret, we are all different, we are all unique, and we should all deserve the same level of acceptance by society.  However, there are still people who show unjust hatred.  It is not right for a fourteen year old boy to contemplate taking a bottle of pills because a kid in his Biology class calls him a fag whenever he walks by; it is not right for a parent to let their thirteen year old daughter sleep on the streets in late November because she has told them about a girl that she wants to ask to the upcoming dance; it is not right for a seventeen year old boy to lie in bed at night with silent tears running down his face because he can no longer go out on dates with his boyfriend in fear that his parents may discover their secret relationship; it is not right for a sixteen year old girl to be forced to go to therapy because her parents think her sexuality is a mental disorder and it is most certainly not right to allow society to infringe on the natural feeling of love and the ability to express that love through ceremony.  We have come so far as a society by trying to accept LGBT people, but we still have not completely won the battle, especially with the exclusiveness of marriage.

            Society has punished the homosexual community to the point where people are taking their own lives because so much hatred around them has made it so that they cannot even find the love in themselves anymore.  Being gay is not a choice; there is no way for people to change.  I know from experience myself, that no matter how much you pray or try to like the opposite gender, you will never be “normal”.  But I have discovered that being gay is normal.  There is nothing wrong with anyone that is gay because homosexuality is perfectly natural.  Bison, swans, penguins, dolphins, elephants, giraffe and dragon flies are just a sampling of some of the other creatures on this world that have homosexual relationships. Homosexuality is normal, homosexuality is natural.

            The most widely disputed part of marriage between homosexual couples is that it goes against the teachings of the Bible. Leviticus states in the Bible that if a man sleeps with another man, it is an abomination.  Yes, that makes it seem very clear that according to the church homosexuality is a sin.   However, Leviticus also goes on to say that men should not shave, eating fish is bad and that wearing clothing made of two types of material are sins.  According to this, the vast majority of people in the United States are already committing acts of sin as stated in the Bible.  Why is it okay for the “purists” to pick and choose which rules of the Bible that they can follow, but gay people can’t do the same?  It seems as though that there is a double standard when it comes to interpreting the verses.   Furthermore, Leviticus was human, not an infallible God.  Indeed, those who believe in the Bible think that the Holy Spirit inspired the authors of the Bible in the writing.  Who is to say that Leviticus has interpreted these inspirations correctly? 

Besides Leviticus, Corinthians 13:4-8 states, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”  This Bible quote reflects what love really means.  I believe this gives support for same sex marriage by God himself.  This love that is described not only tells what love should or shouldn’t be, but also how love shouldn’t be viewed.  The Bible clearly states that people should not be rude in talking about love, they should only speak about love with kind words and that love perseveres no matter what challenges are presented before it.  Nowhere in this excerpt does it state who experiences love, it can be assumed through this verse that anyone can have these feelings and no one deserves for people that do not believe in same sex marriage to view love in a negative way.  According to this, everyone deserves to feel and express love without ridicule.

            The fact that some religious groups consider people who have same sex relationships to be immoral, be abominations to humanity or result in punishment in the afterlife, is just absurd.  How can being gay make someone automatically less of a person?  Sexuality does not define who a person is; the actions that humans perform in their life will define how they will be remembered.  Gay people can be great role models for the rest of society.  Rosie O’Donnell, an actress famous for her role on numerous movies, TV shows and her own talk show Rosie, is a lesbian, but she does not let that define her.  Rosie also works to better the lives of children with her For All Kids Foundation, which promotes better quality daycare across the nation.  Rosie’s love for children was further demonstrated when she started a program that gave free music and dance lesson to kids in 21 public schools.  Rosie and Kelli Carpenter, have fostered and adopted many children and act as beautiful parents to all of them.  To me, it seems as though a person’s morals are reflections of their actions and not their sexuality.  Any reasonable God would think the same.  If God is an infallible being, that means that being gay is not an error by mankind and in fact it means that gay people were put here for a reason.  No loving God would set up mankind for failure through homosexuality.  Gay people are here for a reason, a reason that most of society has not yet discovered.

Secular marriages are on the rise, thus decreasing the number of weddings that actually occur in a place of religious worship.  The “holiness” of matrimony is now on the decline with the little wedding chapels in Las Vegas and the extravagant ceremonies on TV that take place in shark tanks or while bungee jumping.  The reality is that marriage has already lost its religious aspect which makes the “keeping of sanctity in marriage” a moot point.  Unless someone worships the goddess of jumping off bridges or the divine spirit of the shark, marriage is not holy.  Marriage has become more of a legal contract that gives both participants better legal benefits than they would have if the two had continued to live their lives unwed.  Weddings in America are now more about the “wow factor” and less about the holiness of the sacrament of matrimony. 

            America was founded on the principles of nonconformity and diversity.  The Puritans landed in America not to make an exact replica of Britain, but to create a land with greater freedoms.  Since, America has been a progressive country that guarantees rights to citizens that would not normally be guaranteed in other countries.  If it wasn’t for the progressive nature of this country, women would still tend to the house while men work, African American people would still face the reality of segregation, and we could have even remained under British rule today.  So why not allow gay marriage?  Homosexual people are citizens too, and if the United States of America wishes to remain the progressive country that it has been known to be for over 200 years, it should extend the right of marriage to every loving couple in the nation.  Traditional family values in this country are almost nonexistent as it is.  With divorce rate at an all-time high and domestic violence as a growing crime, the perfect, nuclear family as seen on TV shows like Leave it to Beaver is a remnant of the past.  Same sex couples can be “normal,” loving parents.  Same sex parents can still nurture and communicate, support and protect, and understand and most importantly, love.

            Gender roles in the United States are beginning to diminish.  Some mothers are working as CEOs, and some fathers are staying at home baking and cleaning.  Some boys like to play with Barbies and some girls like to catch frogs in the backyard.  So why make a big fuss if a married same sex couple has children?  The gender of the parent does not define their ability to fulfill the child’s emotional needs.  No matter what gender, a parent still loves and cares for their child, they will fight for and sacrifice anything to give their child a better chance at life.  Same sex families will not corrupt society and in fact, their children will better understand diversity and will have a greater acceptance for a person’s differences.  A parent’s sexuality will not rub-off on the child, but the moral value of embracing differences will. 

            Same sex parents do not cause children to live lives of homosexuality.  Being gay is not a choice that a child can make, and in a society like today, it is a choice that children would not make.  It is ridiculous to think that a child will choose to be just like their homosexual parents.  No sane person in this nation would choose to live a homosexual lifestyle.  Even in today’s accepting times, gay people are still bullied to the point of suicide, parents are disowning their children for coming out, the government will not pass laws to create equality between homosexual and heterosexual couples, and some religious groups view them as abominations.  So why do people even come out as gay?  That has been a question that I have been asking myself for a while and I have come to a conclusion.  Everyone needs to express their true inner feelings; they need to tell people who they really are in order to feel truly loved and accepted.  By keeping in true feelings of love, one could feel like they are living a lie, and faking everything people know about them.  The most important thing to know about coming out is that love is something worth expressing; love is something worth fighting for. 

            Change is one of the hardest hurdles that a society can endure.  Looking back in American history, change has caused great controversy in our country, but the outcomes have come to be some of the fundamental values that this nation embraces the most.  As a nation we have changed to give African American people the ability to no longer be treated like property, we have changed to give women their chance to reach out to government and most importantly we changed to free our nation from Britain.  These changes were not the ideas of the majority of the people; however government recognized the need for change in order to move forward as a country.  These ideas of African American rights, women’s rights and independence were radical in their day, but today we look to these changes with pride, knowing that our country has done everything in its power to uphold its promised freedom.

            Marriage is a right that should be celebrated by all people in this nation.  It is a solemn vow between two lovers that seals the lifetime commitments for each other.  Marriage is not about the normality in society, Biblical references, religious teachings, morality, American traditions, the nuclear family, or even how sexuality is determined.  Marriage is simply about love.  So if marriage is a topic of love, why is there so much hate surrounding it?  My proposal is that we keep the love in marriage and we make it inclusive for all couples no matter what their sexual orientation may be.  By creating exclusive laws on marriage, we as a nation are condoning hate by depriving one group of people to rights that are available to the majority of the nation.  Marriage is so much more than a ceremony followed by dancing and cake, marriage is the love that we should never stop fighting for and defending because when we do, we cease to be able to live the free lifestyle that America guarantees.