WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE A CHILD

            For starters, no I don’t have any kids at the moment, but I do have some insight on this topic.  I was a camp counselor for 6 years and a camp nurse for 1 year.  I was also raised by two exceptional parents who would sacrifice anything for me and my sister to excel in life and find true happiness.  It is my personal belief that that is the true goal of parenting; to love your child, embrace them and nurture them.  A parent should never degrade their child, tell them that they are a failure or even talk about them behind their back.  It is a true act of cowardice and in my opinion, the worst things that a parent can do.

            Growing up in a middle class family, my parents worked their butts off to make enough money to support me and my sister.  They even put us through catholic school, devoted hours at the dinner table teaching us math and reading, quizzing us for upcoming tests and being involved in our extracurricular activities.  Their work ethic and care for me has inspired me to do great things in my life.  There is nothing more that I want to do than to make them proud of the person I have become and the person that I hope to be in the future.  For me, this was, is and should be the norm for parenting, but as of now, I can see how this isn’t always the case.  I have a few stories to back up this view.

            This summer as I was working as a camp nurse, the same 12 year old girl would always come to my office complaining of a belly ache, she would sit on the bench in my office and talk to me, which would sometimes cause a miraculous cure and sometimes not.  Normally when talking to her or getting her involved in a game wasn’t enough, I would call her father.  It took me a few times to discover that these “belly aches” were nothing more than I cry for attention.  The camp director came up to me one day and told me her story.  She said that the girl’s parents had gone through a nasty divorce and that both parents were workaholics trying to pay for the lawyers and court fees.  She told me that I was quite possibly the only smile that she sees every day.  All she wanted to do was be sure that her parents were really there for her, and she tested it by faking belly aches.  She knew that I was always there for her though, that I would always be there at her side if she needed me and that is why she always came to my office.  No child should ever have to be in doubt on whether or not their parents will always be there for them.  It should be a given.

            The next story is a closer one to home.  One of my friends has a mother who is a twitter addict and who is a pessimist on life.  She tweets horrible things using racist remarks, a lot of political nonsense and then worst part is that talks about her own son in a negative connotation.  She tweets about her son constantly, about his political opinions, asking people to pray that he will come to his senses, asking people where she went wrong with raising him and saying that he “doesn’t produce.”  She makes herself look like the victim in all of this by telling people that she is a Christian woman with strong morals and tried to give her kids everything by sending them to catholic school.  But what she fails to mention is what she did and didn’t do to her child.  She would always pawn him off on the weekends on other families and the Boy Scouts, she never encouraged him to do anything or become anything.  She never taught him how to set goals or where to even begin.  Children don’t just learn these things on their own as much as we may think they do or hope they do. Sometimes it takes a little talking and a shove to get the ball rolling.  You need to be the inspiration that your children are desperately searching for at a young age and by posting about your child on twitter you are only destructing their ego making them believe that they are worthless.  Well, let me tell you that no one is worthless and especially not this person.  He is kind, understanding, smart, inspiring, free spirited, a loving friend, artistic and the list goes on and on.  If his mother knew anything about him, she would see these qualities and embrace them, but instead she tears him down.  She also fails to mention on her twitter that she is addicted to alcohol and that son finds her passed out on the floor on occasion, that she abuses depression medications, refused to teach him how to drive, doesn’t give him Christmas presents and  she has stolen money from him that was given to him as a graduation gift.  This child has so much potential and is anything but a lost cause.  The only thing he needs is a little guidance from people that care for him.  He is not a bad kid, he doesn’t get into trouble and he has talent and if anyone has failed, it is not the child, but instead, the parent. 

            So my take home message from all of this is simple.  Inspire your children to dream and hope.  Teach your children how to set goals and achieve them by example.  Smile at them and compliment them especially when they are right in front of you.  This positive reinforcement will further encourage them to keep moving forward.  And remind your child that they are never worthless, that you will always be there for them, that you are proud of them and that you will stop at nothing to make their lives better.  Parents, it’s your job to make an amazing life for these children.  They only have one shot at life and to see the world.  So make it positive, inspiring and worthwhile.  Let the lives of your children make yours worth living.