HOW TO REACT TO SOMEONE’S COMING OUT

            I would never tell someone how to react to a coming out because everyone’s thoughts on sexuality are completely different, but my hope is that through this post you will understand how to make your LGBT friend, son, daughter, spouse or what-have-you feel the most comfortable during this process. The first thing that you must understand as a non-LGBT person is that this is a big deal for the person coming out.  Speaking from experience, I know that it takes a lot of courage to share this piece of information about yourself.  It took me over 2 years to come out to my sister after discovering my sexuality and a year after that to tell my parents.  You should feel extremely honored that someone finds you so important that they want to share this part about their life with you. 

1.      The best thing to do is listen to what they have to say.  A person coming out may simply say “I’m gay” or they may have a speech prepared, don’t interrupt this process.  They have probably been keeping this in for a while, so let them get it out.

2.      It is very important to thank them for sharing this with you, it gives sooo much encouragement. This is an absolute act of courage and a bad coming out experience can put a person back in the closet.

3.      Don’t be awkward and sit there in silence, so ask questions! But don’t ask them “do you think I’m hot?” if you’re the same gender.  It is kind of aggravating and insulting.  But do ask questions about who else they have told, why they are choosing to come out now, how long they have known this about themselves etc.  This will show them that you have a genuine interest in what they have to say. 

4.      Hugs are also a great way to reaffirm to a person that you still love and care for them. 

5.      Don’t be afraid to tell them that you still love them and are proud of them no matter what their sexuality is.  Even though it may seem like the most obvious thing in the world, it never hurts to hear “I love you” from a person that they care about.

6.      The next time you see them, treat them as though nothing has changed in your relationship.  The most positive thing that I saw when I began coming is my family and friends treating me the same way as they always did, because I have always been this way and nothing about me has changed.  Don’t treat someone differently because you feel awkward about the discovery of a their sexuality.  If you ever feel uncomfortable about it, talk to them.

I hope that these tips will help you understand what LGBT people are looking for when they are coming out.  Thankfully the people I have come out to have all responded very well and I thank you all for that, you know who you are.  This is one of the most important moments in a LGBT person’s life so please help make it a positive experience for everyone.